Crashing Back Down Page 5

  Dr. Davenport’s eyebrow rose at my explanation but did not push the subject further. A kind smile spread across her lips, allowing me to relax a little again. “We’re just about out of time for today. Why don’t we see each other once a week. Tuesdays at six?”

  I nodded, thanking her for her time and for listening to me. Before I could stand, she made stern eye contact with me, taking my shaking hands in hers. “Margret, I don’t want you to start to think you have to forget about your loved ones who are gone and get over them. Life is about remembering the good times and reminding yourself there is always still good in the world. Can you try to do that?”

  I assured her I would do my best, and her eyes lit up as she patted me on the shoulder. I couldn’t help but think about how many of her patients might ignore her tips.

  She held the door for me, and I shook her hand, saying goodbye one more time. Walker stood once he saw me emerge from the office, a grin from ear to ear plastered on his face, probably happy to see I wasn’t in a complete mess.

  I hooked my arm around his, and beamed up into his wonderfully happy face. “Thanks for being so great to me all the time. It means a lot.”

  Walker led me out of the double doors, and stopped a few steps away from his truck. “Mags, I don’t know how many more times I will have to say this, but here it goes. You’re amazing, you deserve the best, and I want nothing more than to be whatever you need me to be.”

  I stared blankly at him for a second, a little confused with his choice of words, but ignoring their possible underlying meaning, I pulled him into a much-needed hug. We stood there for a few seconds, Walker pulling away first. “Come on, I need to get you home. You’ve had a long day.”

  With that, he opened up the passenger’s side door for me, helping me inside his truck. We rode in silence back to my house. Once we were in the driveway, I pecked Walker on the cheek, thanked him again for the ride, and made my way inside, trying to sort through all of the craziness from my day.

  The rest of my workweek crawled by at a snail’s pace, boring and mundane like usual. My anticipation for the beach outing with Cali continued to grow as the days passed. It had been so long since I acted like I used to, and I had completely neglected Cali for the most part. I knew she understood, but her friendship was an important part of my life and it was high time we started getting back into our goofy-girl-time routines again. I was so glad we made these plans, the thought of it all put me in a better mood all week. I guess I really am starting to get better.

  Saturday morning, I was woken up by Cali jumping into my bed and giggling. “Wake up sleepy head; it is going to be a hot one!”

  “Ugh, I should never have given you and Walker keys. You two always just barge in!” I groaned, pulling my pillow over my face, not wanting to be brought out of my peaceful dream of sunbathing with Randy.

  Finally, after about a minute of Cali restlessly jumping up and down on my bed, I pried my eyes open, removed the pillow and couldn’t help but laugh at her goofiness. Stretching into a yawn, I grumbled, “Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready. Good thing I shaved my legs last night. What time is it?”

  Cali hopped off my bed and started rummaging through the bathing suits in my drawer. “Seven-thirty. I figured we could grab some breakfast over in Cocoa, tan for a little while and then head over to a bar to do a little day drinking.” She spun around holding a swimsuit in her hands, smiling at it. “Here, this one is sexy!”

  She threw the bathing suit at me while I was still cocooned in blankets; I smiled when I held it up and thought about how perfect a day she had planned. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you, and how great a best friend you are?” I warmly smiled at Cali as she checked her eyeliner in my mirror. In the reflection, she smiled back as I climbed out of my comfy, warm bed.

  “I love that entire plan.” I giggled, slipping into my bathroom to put on the hot-pink, Brazilian-style bikini that probably had the least amount of fabric possible, and brush my teeth. Cali, like always, looked stunning in her little hot-pink shorts, white tank top and purple strapless bikini that was visible under the sheer fabric. She and I were just about the same height and size, but she always looked better than I did. I knew mostly it was from effort, so I didn’t mind when she dictated my clothing choices; usually she was right.

  I came out modeling the suit for Cali, and she smiled, clapping. “Man, I have good taste,” she said, giving herself a little pat on the back. She grabbed her beach bag and started for the door. “Let’s go, I’m starving.”

  I dove under my bed to find my blue beach bag, and then put my wallet and other essentials into it. I slipped on my white shorts and a cute flowing, almost see-through black top in a hurry. Before I could walk out of my room, Cali met me in the doorway, holding my big towels and full-sized white sheet out. “Your bag is bigger, you get the towels.” She grinned, grabbed my wrist, and led me down the stairs.

  Riding in her little white Chevrolet Cobalt that smelled like a combination of island breeze and cupcakes brought me back to her driving me around freshman year. I had totaled my car driving home to see my mom on winter break. I beamed at how great a friend she had always been to me over the years. It seemed like my life was always in the gutter, and Cali was the one always helping me out.

  Cali scrolled through the radio stations until she found the perfect one; hits from the eighties and nineties. We bobbed to old pop songs from back in our high school days. We talked about how "Oops, I Did it Again” reminded me of the summer I had my first kiss with Dominic Preston, and how every time Cali heard "Bye, Bye, Bye” she remembered playing it on a loop, crying in her mother’s room after her first really bad break up. I leaned back in my seat, staring out the window, remembering how just a few years ago my life was so simple. My heart ached to be back in those times, before my life’s cards had been dealt.

  We pulled into a little diner on our way out to Highway A1A to grab some scrambled eggs and coffee. We gawked over our terrible service from our grumpy middle-aged waitress. During college, Cali and I were both bartenders and the experience had made us overly critical of service and exceptional tippers despite quality. Randy would always get mad at us for wanting to leave thirty or forty percent for service that was sub-par at best, but we felt like it was karma.

  Right when I felt the sand between my toes and smelled the salt air, I relaxed. There was something about being close to the ocean that brought me peace. It almost was as if I felt so small, and all of my problems felt so small, next to something so magnificently huge.

  Cali and I found the perfect tanning spot and laid out our sheet and towels.

  Pulling two water bottles from her bag, Cali breathed in deeply. “It has been too long, for sure! We used to come here every other week.”

  We both settled down on our stomachs and I made my phone sing out a playlist of Jimmy Buffett, Bob Marley, and other beach tunes. The sun was hot and made my skin burn a little, but it felt fantastic. It was before Randy left for basic training since I had worked on my tan. I could feel my skin drinking in the missing vitamin D gratefully. “Man, I missed this, Cal!”

  The sound of the waves crashing and children playing lulled us both into a slight, sun-kissed sleep.

  Promptly at eleven o’clock, my phone reminded us our favorite little beach bar was open for business. I got up and stretched, looking down at my tanned skin gleaming in the sunlight. Luckily, both Cali and I barely got sunburns and always turned to a dazzling olive-bronzed color. Cali’s natural blonde curls waved in the wind, wrapping around her face as she started to pack up her things. I did the same, bobbing to “No Woman, No Cry” and basking in the beautiful day.

  We strolled arm in arm for about two blocks down the beach along the shoreline, letting the waves roll back and forth over our feet. “Cali, thanks for this!” I wrapped my arm around her waist in a half hug, “I’m glad to finally feel normal more and more these days!”

  Curling her arms around my shoulders, Cali gi
ggled. “What made you think you have ever been normal, Mags?”

  I shoved her playfully, giving her an exaggerated gaping jaw and raised eyebrows. We laughed until we reached the steps of the boardwalk to the bar where we both froze, startled by the sight of Mitch and Walker standing at the bar. They were surrounded by oiled-up, giggling Barbie dolls playing with their hair flirtatiously. Even though this was nothing new, a bite of jealousy nipped at my stomach. Confusion washed over me, I usually didn’t care who or what Walker was doing. But at that moment, I cared a little too much.

  I suppressed the urge to strut over to his side and shove my tongue down his throat in front of the model-look-alikes just to make them go away. Brushing the covetous feelings off, I grabbed Cali’s hand and continued into the outside bar area filled with packed high-top tables. Walker and Mitch were both smooth talkers with ripped tattooed bodies, and they knew how to flaunt it. Girls fawned over them everywhere they went. Cali and I used to always give them a hard time about having no standards, but not too many good-looking college guys did, in my experience.

  “Goodness, look at those two! Isn’t it crazy that we hang out with them?” Cali’s eyes narrowed to crinkled slits as we made our way towards the only empty table which was, unfortunately, directly in the guys’ view.

  I set my bag on top of the table and waved over to Walker who had already spotted us. “What did you do that for?” Cali whispered sharply, as if to make sure they wouldn’t hear her. Walker shot me a half grin and nudged Mitch to rip his attention away from staring at the tits threatening to explode out of the blonde’s top who was practically sitting in his lap.

  “Because it’s the right thing to do, Cal,” I snapped at her through gritting teeth. I just couldn’t believe how rude she could be sometimes.

  Walker and Mitch both shot us cocky winks and grins, turned to each other, then to the bartender. A haggard looking brunette barkeep lazily gawked at them and nodded, turning to shake clear liquid and pour it into shot glasses.

  The next thing I knew, Walker and Mitch were at our table, without their tramps, handing us tequila shots, salt and lime. “Well, look what the cat dragged out to play!” Mitch teased, handing Cali and I our shots. “To this gorgeous day and gorgeous women.” His smile dangled on the corner of his lips, moistened by the liquor that almost did not make it into his mouth. Apparently, the guys had been drinking for quite a bit by the time we showed up. A smile escaped from my pursed lips as I leaned back on one hip, for some reason I had a soft spot for Mitch, almost like he was my annoying little brother. Mitch and Cali both loved patron, Walker and I on the other hand were more whiskey drinkers, but we all raised our glasses without complaint and threw the shots back. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I cringed and made a disgusted face, which made everyone erupt into a booming laugh at as I bit down on my lime.

  “Fancy seeing the two of you here.” Walker was glaring hungrily at me and leaned in for a hug hello that I warmly accepted. I met his gaze with a shy but subtle wink.

  I quickly diverted from Walker’s stare and started small talk with Mitch about how small a world it was. But, honestly it wasn’t. During college, on beautiful days like this, Cali and I would not have been anywhere else. For a split second, I questioned if Walker knew that and dragged Mitch there on purpose. The group of girls Walker and Mitch had been flirting with came over to talk to them again, reminding me why the guys would have probably decided to come here, and it was definitely not because of old friends.

  To my surprise, Walker and Mitch shooed them away, turning their focus right onto Cali and me. “What was that about?” Cali’s eyebrow raised and she pointed in the direction of the flock of bleached and tanned vultures circling their next victims. Mitch and Walker both shrugged it off, telling us they wanted to hang out with us, not fake gold diggers.

  I called them on their bullshit, but Walker rubbed a hand over his dark stubble nonchalantly, “It’s true, Mags. It ain’t no thing to just want to be around friends and not get pawed at.”

  I figured the best bet was to not question their good behavior any further, even if it was out of character.

  “I guess everyone has to grow up eventually.” Cali giggled.

  After about ten minutes of waiting on service, Walker was able to flag down a very tall, overly tanned server for us. She ran over, apologizing for the wait with a perfectly whitened smile. Against her dark skin, her teeth were almost painful to look at. We ordered a bucket of Coronas, and pulled chicken nachos with extra jalapeños. As the server started to walk away, Walker flagged her down really quick, asking for extra limes with our beers. I bounced a little in my seat, delighted with his thoughtfulness and the fact he remembered that my Corona needed to be drowned in lime juice on beach days. It was those small gestures that reminded me how sweet Walker could be, and how good a friend he was.

  Even though Cali had been a bitch about wanting to talk to the guys, she seemed to be enjoying their company. Walker and Mitch told story after story about drunken nights Cali and I couldn’t remember due to black outs. Mitch started in on one evening that was especially excruciatingly embarrassing for me, and I almost died from blushing and laughing at myself so hard.

  Randy was out of town at some Army training session with Walker. Since I would most likely be bored in their absence, Mitch took Cali and I out with some of their other fraternity brothers. We took shot after shot, alternating with beers and mixed drinks while we line danced the night away. I barely remembered even getting to the bar, let alone boot stomping around the joint, but apparently Cali and I were the talk of The Saloon.

  By the end of the night, I needed Mitch’s arms around me to stand up straight. Luckily, this was while Cali and I were roommates, and Mitch drove us home. Having to carry me into the house, Mitch tried to help me into bed. Before he could lay me down, I puked all over the both of us. Trying to be respectful, he carried me to the bathroom, turned the shower on and giving me five minutes, if I wasn’t out, he was going to have to come to my rescue.

  Mitch changed into some of Randy’s clothes from my room and waited ten minutes. When I didn’t respond to his knocking, he opened the door, finding me passed out naked in the bottom of the shower with scolding water turning my skin pink. Apparently, Mitch stripped down to his boxers, showered the puke off of me and put me into bed.

  The next morning I woke up not remembering a thing. Needless to say, it was one of those drunken college nights that mortified me, and my friends loved to tell the story over and over. Even years later, my cheeks flushed bright red. Luckily, the sun had already started turning me a little pink, so no one seemed to notice my embarrassment.

  We sat, talking and drinking for a few more hours. It was like old times again. For a short time, the emptiness seemed to subside. By late afternoon, our skin had become angry at our drunken, sun baked Saturday. Our server trotted over to us with our seventh bucket of Coronas, informing us that it was shift change and she was about to be sent home. Taking it as a sign, we asked her for our check so she could close out her report, not wanting her to have to stick around just for us.

  Ripping the check out of her hand before anyone else could grab it, I passed my card to our pleased server without even opening the book. Everyone sighed and started badgering me for always doing that. It was true, I hated other people paying for me and I loved being generous, especially with some drinks in me. I snickered at their frustration, wondering what we were going to do next; I was not ready to crash back into my melancholy reality just yet.

  “Well, Mitch and I were thinking about going to get another tattoo. Want to tag along?” Walker fiddled with his keys, avoiding Mitch’s narrowed eyes, knowing he hated having an audience when he was getting inked. Walker on the other hand, loved company no matter what he was doing, and it was kind of tradition that I was with him every time he got a new tat since we had become friends.

  I beamed at him in my drunkenness; I was elated to go on any type of adventure. “
Yeah, for sure,” my emotion oozed through my words. “Want to go Cali?”

  She stretched extravagantly and yawned. “It’s Kyle’s only night off this week. I think I better head home.” I could see all of the missed calls and texts that she had been ignoring from her husband, and couldn’t believe he put up with her ignoring him like that all day.

  I frowned at her, not wanting our amazing day to end, and then wrapped her into a hug whispering, “Thanks for today. I really needed it.”

  Cali squeezed back, telling me that it’s what best friends are for, and then said goodbye to the guys, too. We had parked a few blocks south of the bar and Cali decided to walk along the beach alone, refusing Walker’s offer to drive her. She claimed she needed the exercise, laughing a little. I didn’t question her further; Cali liked to do things for herself and when her mind was set on something there was no changing it. I wrapped my arms around her neck one more time and she set off for the beach.

  Walker, Mitch and I finished the rest of the beers, then gathered our things and started to head out on our escapade. Walking to the parking lot, Walker put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.

  He bent down, walking awkwardly as he rested his chin on my head. His voice was low and husky, making sure Mitch couldn’t hear from his three pace lead, the southern drawl more apparent in his beer drenched slurs. “Thanks for coming. I’m going to need your opinion on what to get. It’s always better when you’re there.”

  He lightly pecked the top of my head and I playfully shoved my shoulder into him. His grip tightened, making sure to not let me get too far from his side. “I love going with you guys. It’s always entertaining watching grown men cry like little girls from the slightest hint of pain.” I was teasing him. Never having gotten a tattoo myself, I imagined they were extremely painful. “Maybe I’ll get one too.” The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them. I had always wanted one, but was very apprehensive about it. Not to mention, my pain tolerance was next to nothing.