Crashing Back Down Page 6

  Mitch stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around with a sly, mischievous expression spreading wildly on his face, ducking down to look me dead in the eye, his words came out as almost a challenge. “There is no way in hell I will believe that until I see it!” Mitch had not shaved for a few days and his prickly jaw line made him look rugged, almost sexy.

  A playful smirk danced across my lips as I crossed my arms very matter-of-factly in response to his tone. Before even realizing what was exiting my lips, I was placing a bet with Mitch that if I went through with it, he’d pay for my first tattoo. Not wanting to be left out, and probably not wanting Mitch to have to pay for the whole thing either, Walker agreed to split the cost of it. And now, the pressure was on, and I realized quickly there was no turning back.

  Luckily, I had a little bit of beer induced courage pulsing through me, so my instinct to run faded fast. I shrugged off the guys’ relentless teasing. “How bad could it really be? Both you two wimps are covered!”

  Once we reached the tattoo shop, nerves were swimming around with the alcohol, causing my stomach to do backflips. I clung to Walker’s arm with both hands in a death grip as he led us into the shop. Every inch of the walls were covered with some type of artwork or tattoo example. The artists’ portfolios sat on a coffee table in the sitting area to the left of the entryway, along with a cracking black leather couch and a few gray folding chairs.

  Two large overly pierced and tattooed women, who looked to be in their forties, wearing black leather from head to toe, were sipping out of beer bottles. They didn’t even seem to notice our entrance, never looking up from flipping through the binders. From a distance I heard the smaller of the two, in a deep, hormone induced tone say, “Nah, Kitten, get the skull on fire on your back, and I’ll get something that matches.” My attention was quickly diverted from my eavesdropping by Walker’s arm flexing in my grip to shake someone’s hand. Ugh, his muscles are amazing.

  We were greeted at the front counter by an inordinately large older biker with a long white beard, bald head and tattoos covering every inch of his visible skin other than his face and parts of his neck. I could hear the buzz of guns jamming ink into skin in the back room; the sound sent shivers down my spine. Walker and Mitch greeted the guy who introduced himself as Calvin. Not too long before, Calvin had bought the shop and luckily kept most of the artists that worked there. Walker and Mitch both breathed out a sigh of relief when they were told that Jeff and Pete were still employed and not too busy to do some work on our little group. Walker had declared from the time of his first tattoo, that Jeff would be the only person to ink him and Mitch felt the same way about Pete.

  Calvin checked all of our IDs and called into the back for Pete and Jeff. I had known what my first tattoo would be ever since I first went to the beach with Randy. We both loved the ocean and would enjoy it in any way possible. Randy’s favorite birds were sooty terns, always claiming he was jealous that they lived practically their whole lives out at sea. So, when the scary, biker jacket wearing shop owner turned to ask what I was getting, that is what I told him I wanted flying on my hip.

  Walker chose to get a nautical compass to accompany the underwater scene on his lower leg. He had been working on that collage for a few years, and it was by far the best work he had on his body. Mitch planned to start a new sleeve on his left arm since all of the space on his other was full of dead gypsies, skulls and morbid looking flowers. The sleeve that he already had was breathtaking and the new one sounded like it was going to be just as beautiful but with a completely different theme. Mitch planned to get a pin-up style girl, posing seductively around an anchor on his forearm. I felt like it was a little cliché, but who was I to judge? Pete was a master at American traditional tattoos and Mitch’s idea was going to be spectacular.

  I was practically shaking with anticipation as the guys chatted, and my mind started to grasp reality. Seeing the scared look on my face, Walker turned into me, pulling me tight to his warm body. It felt so inviting to be close to him, not to mention how fantastic he smelled, even after being in the hot sun all day. I took in a deep breath of cologne, beach and beer, relaxing into him. From behind me I heard two voices say hello to us. I knew the two artists well. When Jeff asked how I was doing, I realized he must have been told by Walker about Randy. I put on my most convincing smile and joked, “Well, I’m still breathing.” Walker jumped to my rescue and started to talk to Jeff about the piece he was thinking of and they turned to the counter where Jeff started to draw up a sketch on to tracing paper.

  I was standing in the middle of the entryway watching Mitch and Pete talk about the pinup girl. They were pointing at Mitch’s arm where the girl would be and measuring out how much space she would take up. Suddenly, Calvin’s voice came booming from behind me, “Well, Little Lady, I think we need to find you a tattooer.” I turned around, trying to look calm and brave, but failing miserably while my knees and hands trembled. Out of the corner of my eye, Jeff popped up from his drawing.

  “Mags, can I do it?” The shock mixing with excitement in Jeff’s face was contagious to me. I anxiously locked eyes with Jeff, not knowing if I was about to cry or laugh. Every type of emotion was running through my body. “That would be amazing, as long as Walker’s okay with it, of course!”

  Walker smiled at me, walking over to wrap his arms around my waist. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to touch you.” His eyes had a lustful undertone that was all too intriguing, but I chose to ignore it and let my mind wander to my thrilled, scared heart, thumping with anticipation. He pulled me in a little tighter and breathed. “I’ll get mine done next time.” Turning to look at Jeff from over his shoulder, Walker’s voice got playfully stern. “I’m trusting you, man! Don’t fuck up!”

  It was a little odd how touchy Walker had been these past few hours with me, but I couldn’t deny how comforting it was. I missed the companionship of my husband so much it physically hurt. Right now, that pain was subsiding, just enough to almost bring warmth back into my body. I gave Walker’s middle a quick squeeze then trotted over to the drawing table to tell Jeff the idea for my tattoo. Jeff scrolled through a few pictures of the seabird with me until I found one I loved, and he went to work drawing it onto transfer paper.

  Before I could realize what was going on, I was lying on my side, my shorts undone, with Jeff putting the stencil on my hip. I got up gingerly, making sure my shorts didn’t fall off or mess up the outline, to go make sure I liked the almost-tattoo in the mirror. The bird looked like it was flying right off my hip bone. It was a little bigger than I was expecting, but stunning. I could not have imagined it any more perfect. Tears welled up in my eyes, full of all kinds of emotions, some I couldn’t even identify at the moment.

  Walker and Mitch both gave Jeff a pat on the back and expressed their approval of the image. Mitch wrapped me up in one of his amazing bear hugs. “Mags, I’m shocked and proud. Sit like a champ. It’s going to be beautiful.” With that, Mitch sat on Pete’s chair to get his work done, and Walker pulled a chair up next to the cushioned table I’d be lying on, to offer a hand to squeeze for moral support. I got back down onto my side, bracing for the pain, and Walker settled into a comfortable position, taking both my hands into his. Mitch was in the seat behind me chatting away with Pete about life since their last session. This reminded me of my therapy sessions with Dr. Davenport while listening to Mitch talk. It was so clear to me that coming to the shop was where the guys came for their type of therapy. I go to a shrink; they get ink jammed into their skin.

  Jeff asked me if I was ready, handing me a lollipop to suck on so I didn’t bite my tongue. I nodded once, closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath. Without warning, the stinging sensation of the needle driving into my skin was intense. Chills and adrenaline started to cover my body as I squeezed Walker’s hands. Walker and Jeff talked, trying to include me into their conversation. My voice was trembling, and concentrating on anything other than keeping my body from shaking uncontrollabl
y was out of the question. I couldn’t talk to them, I just had to let my mind go blank, blocking out everything, including the pain. I had gotten so good at blocking out my emotions that it was pretty easy for me. I just shut my eyes and concentrated on Walker’s hands grasped around mine, with his thumb slowly drawing circles on my overly sensitive skin. I stayed in that almost trance for the rest of my session, allowing myself to just be at peace and in the moment for the first time in ages.

  Suddenly, the pain stopped and I realized the buzzing noise from the gun had ceased. I looked over to see Pete and Mitch hovering over me, and Jeff getting up to stretch his back out. Walker’s face turned quickly into excitement as his eyes flicked from mine to my hip. “Wow, Jeff, sick work! Mags, you’ve got a masterpiece on your side.” Walker helped me off the table and guided me to the full-length mirror to see my sooty tern in flight. I gasped and thanked Jeff profusely as a wave of emotion flooded my eyes, hot tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t help but feel like Randy was here and his grip on my sorrow was starting to release. I felt like this was a little piece of him that was never going to go away and that was all he needed to be at peace.

  After going over the aftercare instructions with Jeff, and watching Mitch’s pin-up girl gain color, we headed back to my house. Mitch declined my offer for beer and food, claiming he had too much fun for one day. Walker, of course, could never turn down grub and booze, happily following me up the front steps after hugging his little brother goodbye. I always thought it was so wonderful how much they cared about each other, and were never shy about expressing it, especially after Randy’s death. When I asked Walker about it a while back, he just explained that he never wanted to miss another opportunity for his friends to know how much he truly loved and cared about them.

  “Want me to order the food?” Walker’s sly grin crept up as he saw my hand rubbing my hip, not realizing he even asked me a question. “Mags? You okay?”

  I slammed my eyes shut, quickly taking in a sharp breath, the burning wave of angry skin screaming to be rid of its permanent paint was incredibly discomforting, but tried to smile. “Yeah, why?”

  He started to make his way to the kitchen. “Give me a second. I’ll make you feel better.” He came back into the living room, sitting on the couch with a cup of ice, hand soap, and paper towels. “Mags, come lie down,” He patted the cushion next to him as his gaze dipped to my tender hip bone, “I’m going to help that stinging stop.”

  I did as instructed, unzipping my shorts and pulling up my shirt to expose the black bandage covering my raw inked skin. Walker was an absolute gentleman, to my surprise. It was not in Walker’s normal character to be good when a girl was half naked lying down in front of him. He removed the bandage and rubbed the cold ice on my angry skin to help the stinging cease, and the swelling to go down, then washed it and patted my tattooed side dry. I moaned with relief and I could see the lustful desire in his eyes while he listened to my groans of pleasure, but he never made an advance.

  “There.” He looked down at me, thirst consuming in his eyes as his tongue traveled slowly over his lower lip. “Is that better?” I sat up and nodded, thankfully. “That is so much better.”

  I fixed my clothes and ordered a large pie, well done pie with pepperonis and black olives from my favorite Italian place just up the street. Walker grabbed both of us beers from the fridge and pulled me into his side to cuddle on the couch. I relaxed into his warm, strong body, wondering what would have happened just then if I hadn’t been his late best friend’s widow. My mind played out the seductive scene the ice would have brought on, and I felt my entire body shiver with desire. Just when my imagination started to run with the ideas, and my body acted to betray the platonic-only line Walker and I had, the doorbell was rung by the pizza delivery guy. Damn, right when everything was about to get interesting.

  The darkness of night still blanketed the room when I was slowly awoken by the shallow breaths of someone lying next to me. My eyes shot open like a puppet as my mind raced to understand what was happening. I felt feverishly over my body, realizing I was completely naked. Jumping out of bed, I turned the light on my nightstand on as fast as I could. Huffing in my exertion, terror coursed through my body as Walker groggily pulled his head off the pillow groaning, “Babe, come back to bed and turn that damn light off.” I stood, paralyzed, holding my naked body in the middle of my floor, shivering. It took a few seconds, but I finally was able to form words for my anger and confusion. “Walker? What the fuck…”

  The faint sound of buzzing started to bring me into the reality of the morning, waking up alone in my bed to daylight. The annoying buzzing continued while I looked around my empty bed, making sure I had just been having a terrible dream before. My cell flopped off my comforter in my fit of craziness, right into my lap. I sighed when I saw through slotted eyes the title of 'mother' glaring at me. Unwillingly, I answered the call.

  “Yeah.” That was all I could muster. I hadn’t spoken to my mother since our fight and was still really pissed at her. Childish in its own way, but I felt like I deserved to hold onto this one.

  “Honey?” My mom’s voice was sharp; a hint of worry laced the tone.

  “Yeah, Mom?” I was not in the mood to chat, especially not with her, and I hoped my voice did a good job of expressing my aggravation.

  “It’s just you’ve not been responding and I wanted to make sure you had enough groceries and that I didn’t need to send the maid again.”

  “Mom, I told you I need my space. I’m a big girl. I can feed myself and clean my home. Please leave me alone.”

  “Okay, sorry for loving you.” Her martyr attitude irked me and I hung up without dignifying it with a response.

  I nestled back down into my pillow-topped mattress, getting my covers just right and let myself fall back into a light sleep for a while. My peacefulness was broken when the sound of my door shutting softly freaked me out, making me shoot up into a sitting position, staring right into Walker’s deer-in-the-headlights expression.

  “Sorry, Mags. Didn’t mean to startle you.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck in nervousness. “I was just going to come up and make sure your tattoo was okay and that you were feeling alright...” His voice trailed off timidly, pausing for a moment before continuing. “We had a lot to drink yesterday…”

  I yawned and stretched before responding, “I’ll jump in the shower soon and take care of my tat, it's not too bad.” I smiled warmly, and patted the bed next to me. “Did you sleep on the couch?”

  Climbing under the covers next to me, he nodded. “Yeah, we got pretty lit last night.”

  I curled up into his arms, nuzzling into his bare chest, breathing in his warm, sweet skin. We shifted until we were in the perfect, comfortable position. “Yeah, I don’t remember much after the pizza got here and we had a couple of beers.”

  Walker chuckled a little in my ear. “You didn’t miss much. You passed out, pizza in hand, after you made us take a few shots of Jack. So I brought you up here, held you for a little while you cried in your sleep. Once you stopped, I went back downstairs and slept there, not wanting to be too far if you needed me again.”

  I let my head fall into the crook of his shoulder and neck, breathing in his amazing scent of cologne, beer, and sun baked skin again; it was still fantastically intoxicating. “You’re amazing,” I whispered right next to his cheek, letting my lips graze the light stubble of his jaw line. I closed my eyes and then kissed him quickly, before cuddling back down in his arms. I was so comfortable while he held me, the anger of my conversation with my mother, and the terrible heartache faded.

  We dozed off for about an hour before a phone’s vibrations woke me up again. This time it was Walker’s. I looked at the phone on my nightstand and saw it was Mitch, so without thinking about the time or how it might seem, I answered the phone, trying to not wake Walker.

  “Hey Mitch, its Mags. What’s up?” I gently slid out of Walker’s embrace to finish the call fr
om my bathroom, trying to be polite.

  “Mags? Is Walker at your place this early? I thought he got there later on Sundays.” His voice was sterner than I was expecting but I brushed it off. Walker and I were platonic, innocent friends; Mitch was the last person I thought would ever suspect otherwise.

  “We drank some more after you dropped us off. Walker slept on the couch and is still sleeping.” I figured I shouldn’t volunteer where, that might look bad. “I can tell him you called if you want, or is there something you need?”

  “Um, can I come over? I don’t want to be alone. Y’all are my best friends. I kind of need you.” His voice broke off, becoming more and more desperate with every word. I figured it was not the time to start asking questions, Mitch would explain everything when he got over. “Yeah of course, you don’t even have to ask. See you soon. I’ll make us breakfast or something.”

  “Okay, uh, thanks Mags. See you soon.”

  “Of course. Drive safe.”

  I hung up the phone, creeping into my room again, hoping to be quiet enough not to wake Walker. I was startled when his voice broke the silence from behind me while I was attempting to sneak out the door.

  “Sneaking off on me? I see how it is.” His sexy half grin complimented his accusing raised eyebrow perfectly. “I knew holding you would be too good to last.” His face was hellishly playful as his nostrils flared and his eyes darkened fixating on my entire body.

  Slowing rolling my hips, locking my eyes with his, I stroke back over to him curled up in my sheets, I almost forgot about Mitch, our unspoken rule to be platonic, and everything else in the world. In that moment I was so attracted to him, my body ached, a feeling I hadn’t had in what seemed like forever. Then, in a split second, his face turned questioning, as he pointed to his phone in my hand.